The querent, let’s call her Rebecca, is a 46 year old female who was shocked when her husband asked her for a divorce. The request seemed to come out of nowhere, and Rebecca wracked her brains to determine why. Sure, there had not been much action in the bedroom lately, but the marriage seemed happy. Perhaps the bedroom was the key. Could there be another woman?
Rebecca confronted her husband. He denied having an affair, and would only say that he no longer wanted to be married. In desperation Rebecca came for a reading. She wanted to learn her husband’s real reason for wanting to end their 18 year marriage.
Rebecca asks, “Is my husband leaving me for another woman?”
These cards can mean many things based on the context of Rebecca’s situation, but to ensure the highest level of accuracy, I have learned to follow two important rules…
- Keep my focus on the question.
- Keep it simple
I have to remind myself that the question does not deal with Rebecca herself, her thoughts or intentions. The question does not deal with the current status of her marriage, or any past influences affecting the marriage. The question does not deal with whether or not the divorce will take place. All of these questions are valid, but they would each require a different focus in a separate spread. The focus of the question for this spread is the husband’s thoughts and intentions behind asking for a divorce, and more specifically whether he is leaving Rebecca for another woman.
I have to remind myself to keep it simple. It’s too easy to read into these cards, and wander from the focus of the question. I first notice what does not appear in the spread. If the husband is leaving for another woman, I would expect to see her represented in the cards since she is a major factor in the focus of the question. I might expect to see a Queen, or perhaps the 5 of Hearts to denote that a younger woman is leading the man astray. No lady appears in the cards. There must be some other reason for the divorce request.
Let’s look at what does show up in the cards. The first column represents the premise of the question. What is behind the husband’s decision to ask for a divorce? The King of Spades is a separated or divorced man, or perhaps a man who wishes to separate himself. This interpretation plays very nicely into the focus of our question since we know that the husband wants a divorce. The 4 of Hearts is the partnership card, and it also carries several other meanings relevant to the question: marriage, sex, the spouse, sharing, emotional stability, etc. These are the things that the man wants to separate himself from. He is not interested in being married, nor is he interested in having an affair, and probably has not been interested in these things for a long while.
The middle column answers the question, why is the husband asking for a divorce? The 5 of Spades shows the man’s intentions. The Ace of Spades says he has already made up his mind. He wants the divorce. The Ace of Spades also provides us with a clue why. It is the card of death and rebirth. It signifies lost causes and irreparable decisions leading to total upheaval, and a new situation. The husband wants to end his current conditions, and to be reborn to a new life. The Ace also corresponds to the number 1, and is symbolic of standing alone. He wants to leave his wife so he can be alone to pursue this new life.
We can look to the final column for more information about why the man seeks a new life. The 10 of Hearts tells us where his heart is, what or whom he wants to marry. The 10 of Clubs is the business card. Perhaps the man is married to his business?
No. Rebecca informs me that her husband does not own a business, and he is not particularly dedicated to his job. The other primary meaning for the 10 of Clubs is “travel by or near water,” and with the pair of 10’s, a combination signaling long-distant travel, this meaning suddenly seems very clear to me.
I ask Rebecca, “Does your husband own a boat?” The 10 of Clubs in the pivot position, the most significant card in the spread, is the clue. It can sometimes represent a boat.
She responds, “Yes he does. It’s his baby. He’s always loved that thing more than me.” Rebecca goes on to say that it has always been her husband’s dream to live in the islands and offer fishing and sight-seeing tours to tourists. She further adds that she had not been supportive of what she considered to be a silly, irresponsible pipe dream.
Bingo! The man is not leaving his wife for another woman. In the simplest terms, having a wife (4H) is an impediment (KS) to realizing his life’s dream (10H) of sailing away to the islands (10C). His motivation for asking for the divorce (5S) is to break free and start a new life (AS). This man is married (10H) to his boat (10C). He has zero interest (KS) in an attachment with a wife or lover (4H).
It would have been too easy to see intrigues and underlying drama in these cards based on what seems at first glance to be a potentially scandalous situation. But the husband was being truthful about his motivations. By keeping the reading simple and focused on the question, I was able to give Rebecca accurate and meaningful information to help ease her fears, and uncover the true reason her husband is leaving her.